I will start seeing clients this summer, so I’m reading two texts about how to structure my sessions, Procedures in Marriage and Family Therapy, by Brock and Barnard, and Essential Skills in Family Therapy, by Patterson. One of the things I am to assess as a top priority is the possibility of family violence. (I’ll get a whole class on this next year.) It’s almost always perpetrated by a male. According to Patterson, battering is the biggest cause of injury to women. Here is Brock & Barnard’s list of characteristics that can help identify violent men (p. 46):
1) Believes in the traditional home, family, and gender stereotypes
2) Has low self-esteem and may use violence to demonstrate power or adequacy
3) May be sadistic, pathologically jealous, or passive-aggressive
4) Has a Jekyll and Hyde personality, capable of great charm
5) Believes in the moral rightness of his violent behavior even though he may go too far at times
6) Has perpetrated past violent behavior, which includes witnessing, receiving, and committing violent acts, violent acts during childhood; violent acts towards pets or inanimate objects; and has criminal record, long military service, or temper tantrums
7) Indicates alcohol abuse
To this list, Patterson adds preoccupation with weapons or control.
Nathen's Miraculous Escape 
April 13, 2010 at 8:33 am
I think I can sense men like that. They often have a feeling of being wound up tight within themselves, ready to burst. However, they are in careful control at the moment, and yes, they can be charming. I see them in the bar where we play. My female self spots them, and I instinctively keep a safe distance. They are usually drinking too much. On occasion I can remember thinking, “Man, I’d sure hate to be going home with that guy,” as I see his wife or girlfriend following him out.