Nathen's Miraculous Escape

November 22, 2012

A Few Things I’m Thankful For Right Now

Posted by Nathen under family, gratitude, Joshua Tree
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Reanna, my wife and best friend. That I got to see her wake up so groggy and mild this morning in our cute little trailer home, and that she liked my curry stir fry for dinner last night.

Joshua Tree and its sunny, warm late Novembers.

That so much of my family live so close to me, so when Maya takes a walk with Ollie, they will probably come by and see the solar water heater I’m building and borrow some eggs.

That Ollie is starting to say my name, which comes out completely different every time, but you can tell he’s saying “Nathen” because he sticks his tongue way out to make a “th” sound.

That I have so many amazing friends and family to miss on a day like this. I’m thinking about the Alders, Pikes & Plowmans, and all my Not Back to School Camp staffers and campers.

That I have the capacity to be so moved, by all this, by my morning media (Radiolab “Fact of the Matter,” Ashly Miller’s Radicool EP), and to anticipate the company of Lesters and Rizzos this afternoon in Pasadena.

Thank you.

November 14, 2012

States’ Rights?

Posted by Nathen under law, marijuana, politics, states' rights
[2] Comments

The most interesting question for me about how Washington and Colorado’s new marijuana laws will interact with contradictory federal laws is what conservatives will say about it. I’d love to hear a Fox News pundit say, “This is a states’ rights issue. If people in these states want legal marijuana, we can’t have our bloated federal government telling them what to do or, God forbid, stepping in to police them.”

November 12, 2012

Thoughts on Attending my First Same-Sex Wedding

Posted by Nathen under family, marriage, same-sex marriage, weddings
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On September 15th I had the pleasure of attending the wedding of my second cousin Megan to her partner of nine years and fiance of two years, Mali. I am an egalitarian man and consider the legalization of same-sex marriage a no-brainer, but I was taken completely by surprise by how profound it was for me to see, for the first time, two women get married.

The wedding was wonderful and poignant in the same ways that all really great weddings are wonderful and poignant: The site and decor were both beautiful and quirky in a way that reflected the beauty and quirkiness of Megan, Mali, and their relationship. They are such a solid couple, so clearly in love after all this time, so happy and sure about their commitment to each other. I loved seeing everyone from both families there, getting along so well, excited and supportive, catching up with each other, and forming the bonds of one, big family. And we were all so sad that Megan’s father, Ev, did not live to be there, to cry tenderly at the ceremony, to give a hilarious and heartfelt toast at the reception, and just to be his generous, wise self with us.

The wedding was also moving to me in a way that I’d never experienced before, in a way that I’ve been trying to put into words ever since.

First it hit me how different this looked and felt from the hetero weddings I’ve attended. It illuminated how, like most humans, I am effortlessly and undeniably aware of gender and gender expression in the people around me, and how I fixate and perseverate when what I see does not match what I am used to seeing. It had become completely ordinary for me to see and support same-sex couples, but I had still seen very few images of same-sex weddings.

And at the same time, it looked and felt so obviously right. Of course these two people are standing in front of their adoring families, committing their lives to one another. I’ve thought for a long time that if a couple–any couple, regardless of sexual orientation–can have a happy, stable commitment, especially with the support of their families and community, the world is a better place for it. Witnessing this wedding felt like a shift of that thought into much deeper, experiential knowledge. And why had it taken me 41 years? Simply because I had not been exposed to this moment. I feel certain that I would have been accepting, maybe even excited, as a child, by the symmetry of reality: Some men marry women, some marry men. Some women marry men, and some marry women. It’s about who you love, and who you love is different for different people. We just need access to the schema, the models, the moments.

Second, it hit me how it was Megan and Mali’s bravery that was giving me and the other 120 guests access to this moment. There is real danger as well as the certainty of judgement from a lot of people in being out like they are, and having a wedding is being all the way out. But what a gift: I got to grow into a stronger ally. I imagine we all did.

Third, I had a huge feeling of relief and excitement. Having recently been married myself, I was keenly aware of the cultural baggage that marriage and weddings carry, the history and reality of gender oppression represented by fathers giving their daughters away to husbands, the history and reality of prescriptive gender roles that have felt like prison to so many women. Would participating in these ceremonies and institutions influence my wife and I to behave against our egalitarian principles? How could we possibly know?

Suddenly, here was a wedding and a marriage that was clearly not about gender oppression. Here was proof that it can be done. Here was the possibility of the philosophical redemption of heterosexual marriage from its ugly history.

November 5, 2012

A Plea to my Friends

Posted by Nathen under favors, politics, voting
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I have never met an undecided voter that I know of, but I know plenty of uninspired non-voters. This is for you.

I get it and it’s true. Political campaigns are mildly entertaining at best and a grinding, discouraging farce at worst. Any bluntly honest politician who actually talks about important issues is so far from viable they are immediately disqualified. On top of that, your individual vote almost certainly won’t make a difference. If you are paying attention, it is very difficult not to become bitter. If you aren’t paying attention, it is more pleasant to continue to ignore.

I’m asking you to vote anyway. Consider it a study in cross-cultural anthropology: How are the other humans in your region behaving as their ideas of democracy and citizenship interface and the larger system they exist in? Consider it a study in phenomenological psychology: What is it like to consider the various people and ballot measures that so imperfectly aim to represent you in our culture? What is it like to make choices about them that are so much more murky and compromising than your principles?

Or consider it a personal favor to me. Please vote tomorrow.

November 4, 2012

Hilarious Coincidence or Scheme?

Posted by Nathen under egalitarianism, elections, Google ads, politics
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I’m writing a post that uses the word “egalitarian.” I looked it up to make sure I was using it right. Here it is, below, copy-pasted from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/egalitarian. I saw the Google ad for Mitt Romney at the bottom and wondered if the Romney campaign was targeting voters who were wondering what egalitarian meant. Maybe they figured if you don’t know what it means, you’re more likely to support Romney?

It’s more likely a coincidence. I looked up “democracy” and “republic” and the ads were for “Dominican Real Estate” and “Hottest Dominican Girls!”

e·gal·i·tar·i·an (

-g

-târ

–

adj.

Affirming, promoting, or characterized by belief in equal political, economic, social, and civil rights for all people.

[From French égalitaire, from égalité, equality, from Latin aequ

lit

s, from aequ

lis, equal; seeequal.]

e·gali·tari·an n.

e·gali·tari·an·ism n.

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October 27, 2012

Thoughts and Inaction about Ugly Small-Town Politics

Posted by Nathen under politics, racism, small towns
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A couple weeks ago I had a friendly and helpful conversation about how to get my trailer’s propane tanks filled at G & K Propane in Yucca Valley. G & K is “the place to go for propane around here” according to my dad, who knows about these things, and I’d say he’s right, based on my experience there. They were clearly looking to help, not just make a buck off me, and I really appreciated it.

As I was about to leave, I noticed a bumper sticker prominently displayed in their lobby, the clever if mystifying “I’LL KEEP MY GUNS, FREEDOM & MONEY.. YOU CAN KEEP THE ‘CHANGE'” with Obama’s logo in a red “no” circle. I have a funny mix of irritation and admiration at businesses who put their mouth where their money is like that. Usually it’s a business advertising in some way that they really only want Christians to come into their store, and I think, “Wow, it’s actually more important for these people to not have to be around heathens than to make money. That’s taking a stand.”

Underneath this bumper sticker was scotch-taped a handwritten note reading, “YA FILTHY ANIMAL!” I was upset enough by this that I’m still thinking about it. The bumper sticker is a way to voice one side of a political debate. “Filthy animal” is not. “Filthy animal” is an expression of total contempt, disgust, and hatred. You can kill a filthy animal with impunity, maybe even with satisfaction or pride. I remembered the manager of a restaurant I worked at, stomping a rat to death in the kitchen.

It reminded me of how afraid I was that Obama would be killed–lynched, really–for the crime of having come into so much power in America. How many people in this country would kill the president if they had the chance? Is the person who wrote that one of them? I seriously doubt it, but “YA FILTHY ANIMAL” is a way of aligning with that group.

All this was going through my mind as I decided what to do. I tend to be outspoken when confronted with racism, once even debating a self-avowed racist barber as he cut my hair. I think of it as one of the more useful things I do. In the case of the barber, for example, I got to hear and be sympathetic about this man’s struggle growing up around LA gangs, how scared and angry he was all the time, how members of his family had been hurt. He got to hear and eventually allow some credibility to my ideas about how it was poverty and oppression rather than skin color that made the people he interacted with as a kid so dangerous.

I imagine there is a similar encounter to be had here, but this case, I just left. I was running late and that was enough of an excuse to get out.

Still, I have a decision to make. When I need to refill my propane tanks, do I go back? Do I say, “I’d like to refill my tanks, but first I need to talk to the person who wrote that note on your wall”? Or do I go somewhere else, possibly driving way out of my way, to find propane people who put less offensive things up in their lobby?

October 25, 2012

Hoping for Rain on Election Day?

Posted by Nathen under Democrats, demographics, politics, Republicans
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I listened to some conservative talk radio this evening while I fixed some plumbing in my trailer. I hadn’t checked in with these guys in a while. The tone was quite anxious, reminding me that everyone is anxious about this election. What drew my attention the most, though, was the conversation between the host and a high-level electoral strategist about presidential politics in Ohio. The host asked the strategist to give him some hope about Ohio. The answer was no, sorry, but the race is just really close. If it rains on election day, though, he said, it will keep people from voting and we’ll probably win.

It seemed a very uncomfortable thing for a political party to hope for. The fewer people that vote, the better our chances. When I looked into electoral demographics, though, it seemed true: The younger, the more female, and the less white the voter, the more likely they are to vote for Democratic candidates. And the less likely they are to vote. It looked like if everyone voted we would probably never have another Republican president. The more democracy, the more Democrats.

So it’s easy to see why Democrats get upset when Republicans pass laws that make it more difficult to vote. And lately they are talking up early voting, which could help with turnout. But I’ve never heard Democrats talking as plainly about it as these two Republicans did tonight. Why is that? Trying to be polite?

October 19, 2012

How to Hear Hendrix with Fresh Ears

Posted by Nathen under ideas, Jimi Hendrix, listening, music
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Several years ago, I realized what a bummer it is that I will never be able to hear what Jimi Hendrix sounded like with fresh ears. I remember hearing him for the first time, and it was good, but by that time, Hendrix was a practically a genre and certainly a cliche. I can only imagine the joy of hearing him for the first time in the late 60s, before anyone was bored of Hendrix-pastiche, when was hearing him in the context of his actual time: Johnson in office and civil rights moving, The Beatles best records just out, and Blonde on Blonde, and Pet Sounds. It must have been shocking and amazing and wonderful to hear something so powerful and so different and so right.

And that’s just Hendrix. What about Duke Ellington, or Louie Armstrong, or Woody Guthrie, or the Stanley Brothers, or Sinatra, or Elvis?

I have this fantasy of creating something like those experiences for myself: A nutty music buff, or team of them, puts together a big playlist–maybe 200 songs–for each half-decade of the 20th century. I’d have the soundtracks of 20 impossibly hip Americans from different eras. I’d listen to them exclusively, immerse myself in them, one at a time for a few weeks at a time, in chronological order, for a year.

I think I’d stand a chance of really hearing the newness of Hendrix, and all the rest of them, in that context. I would love to try. Any nutty music buffs out there want to take on the project? I will put my ears in your hands.

October 11, 2012

Transitioning from Humid Country Back to the Desert

Posted by Nathen under advice, desert living, humidity, Joshua Tree
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The transition back to Joshua Tree from a wetter climate can be rough. For me, the worst was returning in December 2000 after a year on Maui. It was so cold and dry it felt like I was living on the moon. It took a couple weeks to acclimate.

I just spent 10 weeks traveling and camping for Not Back to School Camp, almost all in wet areas. The last few weeks were in Vermont, with humidity hovering around 99%. The damp started to get to me. And the cold, and the rain. It was really nice in a lot of ways–I love the staff and campers at NBTSC like crazy, and the fall foliage was spectacular when the sun would occasionally break through the clouds–but I was definitely looking forward to my dry, sunny, warm home.

Now that I’m here, I remember that it can take a while before dry, sunny, and warm seems as pleasant as it sounds. My skin feels dry. My lips and mucous membranes feel dry. It’s hard to keep hydrated. The sunlight seems harsh and temperatures I normally call warm, like 85F, feel unpleasantly hot. I’m no longer used to sweating. I notice the dust more, too.

I know I’ll feel better in a few days, and mostly it is just a matter of waiting it out. There are some things that can help, though:

1) Drive or take overland transport of some sort. (Reanna suggests walking to really slow things down.) Flying makes the transition more abrupt and uncomfortable.

2) Use a humidifier for a while, especially at night.

3) Drink more water than is comfortable. Remember that you are exhaling water vapor each time you breathe.

4) Cover up in the sun. Lily-white skin burns quickly

5) Take it easy for a while. Rest it out.

October 2, 2012

Chris Thile, MacArthur Fellow 2012

Posted by Nathen under Chris Thile, MacArthur Fellowship, music
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I met Chris Thile when he was a boy. Seven, maybe. Our parents were friends, through La Leche League, I think, and maybe southern California homeschooling events, and through both having family bands. He was already amazing at mandolin and asked to try my electric guitar. He said he’d never played one before, which was difficult to believe as I watched his little-boy fingers fly on the fretboard. He was clearly and instantly miles beyond me on my own instrument.

I don’t write off his success to talent, though. I believe he is an outlier in many respects. He has worked like crazy, practicing, performing, touring, composing. He’s also one of the nicest and most charismatic people I’ve met. Most of the many times I’ve seen him perform over the years, he’s noticed and said hi to me from the stage or after the set, treating me like an old friend even though we really barely knew each other. So charming!

Here’s a video about Chris being named a 2012 MacArthur Fellow:

And here he is at about the age I met him, on acoustic guitar: