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May 6, 2010

Not Back to School Camp: A Glance Within

Posted by Nathen under Allen Ellis, Blake Boles, blogging, Maya, Not Back to School Camp, photography, video
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Every year I work at a summer camp for home- and unschooled teenagers, Not Back to School Camp. This will be my twelfth year–thirty some sessions. It is usually the highlight of my year. An NBTSC alumni, Allen Ellis, made this video about it in 2009. Maya posted it on her blog a couple of months ago, and I’m copying her. In moments like this I really wonder who it is that reads my blog. I suspect you are 97% my family and NBTSC friends, who have already seen this. Oh well. This is for the other 3%, whose names are mostly David, Ceri, and Emily.

The guy in the still shot that heads the video is my friend Blake Boles. Every time I see this shot I wonder if Allen asked his permission to use it like that. It’s a funny one.

April 11, 2010

No Email for Six Months

Posted by Nathen under abstinence, blogging, cell phones, crisis line, email, graduate school, long-distance relationships, marijuana, questions, Reanna, relationships, texting
[3] Comments

My parents forwarded me an email from a family friend, Lauren (musician and poet), who is going off email for six months. She’s concerned about distraction (including in her email the quote “It’s commonly believed and understood that it takes about 4 minutes to recover from any interruption. If the computer dings at you and you look 30 times, that’s 120 minutes of recovery time. That’s the crisis.” —Marsha Egan, Author of Inbox Detox), concern over what seems like addictive behavior, valuing face-to-face or at least voice-to-voice communication, and this article about a study which found that emailing reduced productivity more than pot.

She had a series of questions about it email and her project, which I answered. By email. I think she’s starting on April 14, but if she’s already started,she can read my answers in six months.

1. How many times a day do you check your email?

I don’t know. It varies between one and many–20?–depending on the style of my day. There have been days that I don’t check–camping, procrastinating. If I need to concentrate, I do not check email or even keep a browser open until I’m done.

2. How many times a day do you send or receive a text?

Zero. I sent one text in my life, just to try it out, and I strongly encourage my friends not to text me. It doesn’t appeal to me. I’m also vaguely offended by the use of “text” as a verb.

3. Have you ever had a miscommunication via email or text?

Yep, at least a few. It took a while to realize that the pragmatic (i.e. non-verbal) context of communication really does not come across in email.

4. Do you feel anxious over the thought of not having email for
six months? Do you feel anything negative at all? Happy? Just tell me
how you think you would feel.

Hmm. It would be tough. First of all, I’m in grad school and email is how all of my profs and peers communicate important info. We often get our reading over email, and turn in our papers, too. Second, I’m in a long distance relationship, and email is helpful in keeping a sense of connection. We depend mostly on Skype, which is allowed in your plan, but I wouldn’t want to give up email before Reanna and I are living in the same house. Plus, she emails me mp3s of her reading articles I’ve been assigned, so I can “read” while cleaning my kitchen. Plus, she edits my writing over email. Third, I’m so busy that losing the super quick, no-strings-attached communication ability would mean isolating myself even more from my geographically dispersed family and community. Last, as I understand it you are going off of Facebook, blogging, texting, messaging, and chatting as well as email. That all sounds fine except for blogging. I’m pretty attached to my blog. It’s my most consistent form of creative expression these days.

On the other hand, I feel relieved and relaxed when the power goes out, and a big part of that is losing the computer. I went to a lecture years ago by a woman whose name I can’t remember who said “You’re not ‘connected,’ you’re ‘tethered.’ She recommended taking vacations from the leash–phone included. That appeals to me. When I climbed Mt. Whitney, ten years ago, two behaviors really confused me, seeming to miss the point: At the summit, a few people lit up a cigarette and many people immediately called home. It seemed like in sharing their moment they were also missing it. At least they weren’t texting, I guess.

5. Do you think there is anything important to be learned/gained
by not having email for six months?

Yes.

6. Do you use email more for work related messages or for
family/friend correspondence?

Mostly school. Family and friends second. Work a distant third.

7. How do you feel about me not emailing you for 6 months?

Well, we haven’t communicated in years, so I don’t feel much about it. If we were close I might have feelings.

8. Are you sitting with a Bluetooth in your ear, reading and
sending a text with one hand, eating soup with the other, glancing
frequently at your To Do list, all on your twenty minute lunch break?
Don’t feel bad. While writing this letter I checked my email 3 times,
ate handfuls of dry Panda Puff cereal, and listened to my sweetheart
talk about his online class.

No, actually, I’m sitting at my first shift on the University of Oregon Crisis Line, waiting for someone with a crisis to call me. I do have my cell phone with me (and will almost certainly use it at least once), I am (obviously) using email, and have a to-do list that you wouldn’t believe, but I doubt that I’ll check my email more than three times today. Mostly I’ll be reading about counseling gifted children, assessing families, and conducting group therapy.

October 15, 2009

Goals and Intentions for Year 38, Plus Outcomes

Posted by Nathen under Abandon Ship, African dance, blogging, celibacy, dancing, David Waingarten, goals/intentions, graduate school, healthcare, honors project, meditation, songwriting
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Add new knowledge to the field of social psychology with my honors thesis: Yes, I did this, though it was not the knowledge that I was hoping to bring forth. I uncovered some information about how and when people think about power—being under someone else’s control versus controlling yourself versus controlling others. See the discussion section of my honors thesis for a thorough explanation.

Break my habit of scratching and picking my skin: No, I did not do this. I managed to stop for a couple months, using a cognitive-behavioral intervention, but it did not stick.

Celibacy: Yes, by my definition I was strictly celibate all year. Now, making this resolution might have made it sound like not having sex was a lifestyle change, but it wasn’t. I don’t go around having sex with people I meet and never have. I just tend to think about sex a lot, and that’s why I decided to be intentional about my normal, celibate lifestyle. I had hoped to get some specific insights out of it, which I’m sorry to say I did not get. I’d hoped that being celibate would take sex out of my mental conversation, kind of like how I stop fixating on sugar when I go off sugar. I hoped, too, that changing my mental conversation in this way would show me my own, unconscious sexism in a clear way; how might I treat women differently if there is no chance or intention of having sex? Maybe I would get to see what it was like to think of women as fellow human beings, and no more. In fact, I thought about sex significantly more while I was celibate. My celibacy acted as a trigger: Being around women reminded me that I was celibate, which reminded me of sex. Oh well.

On the other hand, I do think that being celibate was a valuable experience, just not in the ways I was expecting. I would recommend it to any single person. I don’t feel at liberty to go into those details right now, though. Ask me about it some time.

Dance every day, working on 1) musicality 2) vocabulary 3) style: Well… I danced nearly every day, and I did improve my musicality, vocabulary, and style significantly. But I did not work on those three elements as consciously or rigorously as I’d intended. I just danced a lot and got better. That said, I’m happy with my level of dancing. I can almost always have fun on the dance floor these days, and that’s satisfying.

Finish bachelor’s degree: Yep. I have a Bachelor of Science degree in psychology and graduated with honors.

Get accepted into a couples and family therapy graduate program: Yes, I got accepted to the CFT masters program at the University of Oregon—a great program, very competitive and highly regarded.

Maintain this blog: Yes, some months better than others. I love it.

Meditate every day: This I did not do. I meditated about two out of three days, on average.

Produce a record with David Waingarten: Nope. He made a movie instead of a record.

Record an EP with my band, Abandon Ship: No. We do have all the songs written, though. They just need arrangements. Coming, coming…

See healthcare provider each month until all body concerns are resolved: Yes, I did this but while it felt good to look for help, I failed to resolve any of the symptoms I was having when I wrote this goal. And I’ve added two more… but at least I spent a lot of money. I feel even more cynical about the ability of health care providers.

Set up a slick system of musical collaboration over the internet and use it regularly: No. I’m still on the verge, but I failed to get my studio up and running after my move. This is the failure I’m most sad about. I was really wanting to have my system set up by the time I started grad school, so I could just record and email a demo whenever I got an inspiration, without hassling with gear. Now I’m super busy and there are several hours of work between me and easy recording.

Shift my schedule three hours earlier for at least one term: In bed by 11 pm: Nope. I did shift my schedule two hours earlier, on average, and I did get to bed by 11 for about one term, but not in a row, which was my intention. I like the earlier schedule, though, and I’m on track for in-bed-by-11 this term so far.

Sing out every day: I did not sing every day. I sang more, but not every day. When I did sing, I sang out, like I meant it, and I think my voice has improved in some ways. So many things to do every day!

Take African dance classes: Yes. I took two or three classes and loved them. But they made my back hurt and I haven’t gone since last November. I ended up taking ballet classes instead.

Write at least one song per month: No, I did not do this. I barely wrote any music. It makes me sad. I don’t like it.

I count 7 yeses, 8 nos, 1 clear kind-of. Not too bad. And 4 of the nos weren’t complete failures. Overall I’m pleased with what I accomplished this year

October 4, 2009

NME is One Year Old

Posted by Nathen under blogging, goals/intentions
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I started this blog on my birthday, one year ago, with a goal to maintain it for a year. It’s been fun. I have no plans to stop. Thanks for looking at it. I hope it’s been fun for you, too.

Here are some stats for the year:

Total views: 5,214

Posts: 64

Pages: 33

Comments: 160

Categories: 114

Here are my “views per month.” This made a nice arc, but I can’t figure out how to copy the image out of my stats page, and I’m too lazy to make a new one for you. The obvious main variable was how often I posted:

October 282

November 244

December 161

January 230

February 212

March 516

April 564

May 721

June 760

July 696

August 509

September 199

Here are my most popular posts and pages–everything that got 20 hits or more–with convenient links to them.

The Five Rabbit Holes of Abstinence Diet 62

Nathen 62

Photographs 60

I Am About to Move 59

Learning 58

Graduation Photos 50

I Am About to Graduate 49

Advice for Insomniacs 49

On Breaking Down in Portland and My Dad 47

Ballet and Lingering Homophobia 41

Nathen’s Miraculous Escape #38 40

Four Lists about Relationships 38

July 4 37

A Little Rant 36

Something to Know 35

Stress Cues 34

Final Stretch, Fall Term 2008 33

The Illusion of Control 32

Blogs 31

Honors Thesis Posted 29

Stepping Stone Has Changed Me 29

Suntop V15 (or so) 28

Worms, Ducklings, Life, Death 27

Viewing 27

Weather Makes People Talk Funny 25

Some Things That Make Me Joyfu 25

Reading 24

Swimming Lessons for Akira Zap Talaba 23

Reading Year 37 22

My Fledgeling Sabbath 21

Cell Phone Etiquette and Ethics 21

Seattle Balboa Festival 2009 20

Goals and Intentions for Year 37, Plus Outcomes 20

Here’s a list of things that had people searched when they found NME. I find these amusing:

nathen’s miraculous escape 12

nathens miraculous escape 9

nathensmiraculousescape 7

kyla wetherell 7

david waingarten 6

nathen\’s miraculous escape 6

Obnocto 5

nathen’s miraculous escapte 4

poppe “social psychology” matthijs or m. 4

nathen miraculous escape 3

abstinence diet 3

nbtsc 3

nathen lester miraculous 2

nathen’s big escapte 2

grace llewellyn kyla 2

ethan mitchell Vermont 2

this is now waingarten 2

my psycology journal 2

not back to school camp grace Llewellyn 2

kid and grandpa 2

nbtsc 2009 2

seluga, university of Oregon 2

college party 2

my baby duck was born with its guts out 2

taber shadburne 2

psycholinguistics empathy 2

“naomi uyama” 2

“tilke elkins” 2

\”damian lester\” 2

72 year longitudinal study in the new yo 2

kyla weatherell 2

locus of control illusionary control 2

\”damian lester\”\”joshua tree\” 1

ducklings crossing in ca i5 yesterday ma 1

nathen + kyla 1

ann murdy 1

highly sensitive person 1

reanna under 1

http://www.bugs schags.com 1

karyn gal 38 on facebook 1

\”damian lester\”\”abandon ship\” 1

african wildflowers 1

awake!! abandon your sleep of illusion 1

baby ducks grate 1

idiomorphs in psycholinguistics 1

ethan mitchell food sensitivity 1

vangie seagull 1

May 16, 2009

Some Searches That Found NME

Posted by Nathen under blogging
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One of the features of WordPress is it tells you what people were searching for when they found your blog. It’s not clear if they are keeping track of all search engine traffic or just WordPress searches (Jeannie, do you know?), but however they do it, I’m often surprised at what I find. Here are some of the search terms that found me:

ethan mitchell food sensitivity

grace and kyla

ann murdy

nathen + kyla

“kyla wetherell”

african wildflowers

vangie seagull

baby ducklings grate

types of cohesion in a discourse

steve lester

illusion of control zen

reanna under

is the ability of a counselor to feel what it is like to be the client before zoning in on the client’s present behaviors.

April 25, 2009

Year 38 Goals, Midway Update

Posted by Nathen under Abandon Ship, African dance, Balboa, ballet, blogging, celibacy, cooking, Damian Lester, dancing, Darlene Lester, David Waingarten, goals/intentions, Grace Llewellyn, graduate school, honors project, Karly Barrett, lists, Maya, meditation, mindfulness, practicum, psychology, questions, Reanna, record production, school, science, sleep, songwriting, stress, Zen Zenith
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I am a few weeks past halfway through my 38th year, conveniently marked by my brother Damian’s birthday, and the start of my spring term. Here’s an update on how my intentions for the year are coming along.

1. Add new knowledge to the field of social psychology: I have just finished (I hope) crunching numbers for my honors thesis, and I can say that I have helped produce some new evidence, at least. It is not as sexy as I had hoped, but I have learned a whole lot about the process of psychology research, and that is the main point, as my advisor keeps reminding me.

2. Break my habit of scratching and picking my skin, including biting my lip: I have made some progress here, using a technique Reanna told me about: snapping myself with a hair band around my wrist whenever I had the urge to touch myself. My success varies clearly with my stress level. It requires mindfulness. Another insight/confusion: picking and lip biting, I can tell, are pure stress responses, but the scratching I think is more than that. I seem to be an itchier than normal person. A dermatologist told me that it was the “notoriously harsh” hand-made soap I have been using. I accepted that explanation until I realized on my ride home that he had been wrong. I only use soap on a few key areas. By his reasoning my armpits should be itchier than most of me, and they are not. Any ideas?

3. Celibacy: This has been no problem. I have not been tested, however; no one that I am aware of has wanted to have sex with me. When I first told Grace about this one, she said, “You are going to learn a lot from doing that, but you know, now that you are committed, you will immediately meet someone who will make it very challenging.” Well, not yet.

4. Dance every day, working on 1) musicality 2) vocabulary 3) style: This is going pretty well, though some days my dancing is just a token, so I could say I did. I had a big breakthrough in musicality on my fast dancing at Seattle Balboa Festival in February. The choreography I have been working on with Karly has been helping my working vocabulary. And the main reason I decided to take ballet is to improve my poise and lines. It is easy for me to get into an I-could-be-doing-so-much-more/better state. There is a guy who started in the same beginning class that I did in Eugene who really dove in and is now a rock-star dancer in Portland, winning national competitions. But I still give myself a thumbs up on this one.

5. Finish bachelor’s degree: Yes. I am on track to graduate with honors on June 13, 2009.

6. Get accepted into a couples and family therapy graduate program: Yes. I start in the University of Oregon’s CFT masters program on September 29 (happy birthday to me!), 2009. I’m very excited.

7. Maintain this blog: I have a lot more ideas for posts than actual posts, but I am pretty happy with NME so far. It has been a consistent source of inspiration for me. I get about 20 clicks a day, on average, which seems pretty respectable. The lowest I go is three (two of which are my ever-hopeful-for-a-post Mom, I just discovered), and my peak was 62 on March 31, the day after I posted the guide to my sidebar. I wonder who you all are.

8. Meditate every day: Yes. Sometimes just a few minutes, but yes.

9. Produce a record with David Waingarten: This is not going to happen this year, which I’m sad about. I love this guy’s voice and songwriting. He also makes movies, though, and that’s what he did with his time and money this year. The movie looks good, though. Here’s a preview: This Is Now

10. Record an EP with my band, Abandon Ship: This project is not on schedule, partly because of #12, below, and partly because of how much work an honors thesis is, on top of an internship and classes. I am working on it , but it will almost certainly not be done by my birthday.

11. See healthcare provider each month until all my body concerns are resolved: Yes, I have been doing this. I’ve seen a dermatologist, an orthopedist, a urologist, and two chiropractors. I’m disappointed with the results, so far. I seem to be collecting concerns faster than I am resolving them. Hmm… That makes it seem like I am on my last legs. I am quite healthy, overall, actually.

12. Set up a slick system of musical collaboration over the internet and use it regularly: This has come together much slower than I anticipated, but I have every reason to believe I will be up and running by early May. I can hardly wait.

13. Shift my schedule three hours earlier for at least one term: In bed by 11 pm: I’m very happy with this one, so far. I have not pulled it off perfectly for a term straight—my dance schedule conflicts somewhat with it—but I’d say 90% of the time I’m in bed by 11:30, at least, and that means I’m waking up naturally before my alarm 90% of the time. I love it!

14. Sing out every day: I have not been doing this as I had hoped. I am still inspired to sing out like my friend Zen Zenith, but I have not been working on it with any regularity.

15. Take African dance classes: Yes, I have taken two classes from master dancer Alseny Yansane, and they were awesome. Unfortunately, I have been having this low back pain that has kept me from dancing with that extreme athleticism. When my back stops hurting, I will go back.

16. Write at least one song per month: Nope. I have not written even one complete song. Ouch.

17. Make at least one of each item in Maya’s cookbook: Yummm. I have made four of 19 recipes: Fluffy Whole Wheat Pancakes, Super Hero Granola, Corn Chowder, and Maya’s Tomato soup. They were all excellent except I burned the granola.

March 30, 2009

An Introduction to My Sidebar

Posted by Nathen under blogging, charting my life, Ethan Mitchell, Jeannie Lee, lists
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Jeannie Lee, my blog advisory council, says that people generally don’t explore blog sidebars since it’s not obvious when that stuff gets updated. Here’s what I’ve got going on so far.

“In” is for my input: I’ve got a list of most of the blogs I’m currently reading, with short reviews, and, under ‘learning,’ a list of the classes, lessons, workshops, and lectures taken or listened to. “Listening” is for music. Under ‘reading’ I have a list of what I’ve read this year, and at the bottom a link to what I read last year. “Viewing” is a list of movies and TV I’ve watched. “Websites” is a list of my most heavily used sites, with little descriptions.

The “Nathen Online” section is self explanatory.

“Out” is for output: Under ‘driving’ is my driving log since my birthday and a little essay about my truck and driving. Under ‘landfill’ is a trash project I started in January, documenting my landfill contribution. ‘Photographs’ has links to some Flickr slideshows I’ve put up. I’m almost a year behind on that project, but what’s up is good. ‘Writing’ is where I post my academic writing. I intend to put up everything I’ve written for school in the last two years but so far I just have my fall term up.

“Categories” is just that–how I’ve categorized my posts here. Having that list up is a straight rip off Ethan Mitchell’s blog. I thought it was a cool idea.

March 9, 2009

Portland Lindy Exchange 2009

Posted by Nathen under blogging, dancing, honors project, school, statistics
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I see that my last post was about a dance event, which makes it look like all I’m doing is dancing. I am doing a fair amount of dancing, but what I’m mostly doing is school-related: my internship at Stepping Stone, statistics for my honors thesis, and studying trigonometry. It’s the last week of my term, and I’m busy. I’ve got some more thoughtful posts in the works, but only short and hopefully sweet ones for now.

I just got back from the Portland Lindy Exchange–at 3 am this morning. Three nights of dancing. I had so much fun. I don’t think I can effectively express what is so fun about it right now but I can tell you about another couple compliments that I really liked.

There was a lot of fast music–northwest dancers like fast music. I do, too. I’ve been doing a lot of Balboa, which works well for fast music, and I’ve gotten comfortable with fast tempos, and able to lead musical dances. At the last dance, about 24 hours ago now, I was dancing with a great Portland dancer named Desha, and in the middle of the dance, she said, “Nathen, I love how relaxed you are! So many leads start to feel rushed when the music gets fast, like they are struggling to keep up.” I really liked to hear that. I feel relaxed! Woohoo!

On Friday, a young woman I didn’t recognize asked me to dance. She was good and we had a fun time. Afterwards she thanked me and said that last year she had come to this exchange after having been dancing for only a month, barely knowing how to do it, and her favorite dance had been with me–that I was the guy who had made her feel like she was doing a good job and that she was fun to dance with. I liked that, too. It reminded me a little of when someone I taught to swim joined the swim team, partly because of my enthusiasm for her talent, and a few years later was an all-star swimmer.

November 26, 2008

Final Stretch, Fall Term 2008

Posted by Nathen under bicycling, blogging, charting my life, co-counseling, dancing, exercise, GTD, honors project, meditation, school, sleep, songwriting, thinking
[4] Comments

This has been my busiest term of school ever. I’ve got two very challenging classes, Social Psychology and Applied Data Analysis, my honors thesis, and a ten hour a week internship at Stepping Stone, a residential treatment center for adjudicated teenage boys. On top of that, I’m taking the GRE (Graduate Record Exam–a really hard test, like the SAT for getting into graduate schools) during finals week. That’s on the same day as my last final. That’s the point in my story where my classmates’ eyes bug a little. “OK, that’s crazy.”

This is too busy. I don’t like it. I like being in heavy intellectual training. I like being in this kind of shape; I can read and understand a journal article in a couple hours, for example. I enjoy being this productive, too, but I’ve gotten stressed out. About halfway through the term I started skimping on my non-intellectual stuff, to keep on top. My meditation practice is getting the squeeze–I’m rarely sitting for more than 15 minutes a day and often it’s just a token few minutes. That’s when I feel how strong my mind is going the most–when I’m sitting to meditate or lying down to sleep, this clear, powerful thinking, like a force, pushing up to the front of my head, driving my awareness and dominating my experience. I am getting enough sleep, at least. I’ve been strict with myself on that and it makes a big difference. My exercise has been getting the squeeze, though. All I do is bike, and I like biking but I also like to run, lift weights, and swim. I just can’t do them as part of my commute. I ride for transportation 30-90 minutes a day. I bike between classes. Sometimes it feels like all I do with my body is bike, sit, and sleep. Not very much walking, even. I dance, too, probably four hours a week on average. That’s gotten some squeeze, but not too much. My songwriting and music playing has gotten the squeeze. My emotional support has gotten the squeeze. I’m down to maybe one co-counseling session a week and no phone time with friends. I’m lucky to live with good friends, so I still get supportive conversations. I get almost no physical affection, though. I can’t blame that on my term–I’m just far away from my most affectionate friends and family. Danielle, Maya, Jeannie, Mom, I miss you! I miss the rest of you too. I want to be in your lives more. I want to know how you are and what you’re doing.

But not for a couple more weeks. After this post, I’m putting my head down, business only, until the term is over. I’ll start posting again in mid-December. Have a great Thanksgiving and end of fall!

Here are some photographs of my calendar I took when I first conceived of this post, a few weeks ago. They are the first six weeks of my term. I’m a little nostalgic about how much more balanced I felt in those days. (Look at all that blue, red and pink!) Here’s what you’re looking at: I kept track of what I did, as I did it. Anything that I did for at least 15 minutes at a time made it on here. (My week calendars do not look like this ahead of time–they have only firm commitments and deadlines in them, GTD-style.) The columns are days, Sunday to Saturday, from about 8 am to about 11 pm. The purple is school stuff, like classes and studying. The blue is personal stuff, like cooking, eating, cleaning, and talking with friends. Green is office work, blogging, working in the elections office, teaching dance classes or lessons. Orange is dancing. Red is meditation and co-counseling. Pink is exercise. Yellow is Suntop stuff–chores, meetings, and outings.