September 17, 2011
Campers at NBTSC threw me and Reanna a little engagement party, along with the other engaged couple at camp, Sean and MJ. It was very sweet. I cried. They made us blackberry cheesecake with freshly picked berries and gave us a standing ovation with hearts. Thanks guys!
(If you want to see the hearts and faces better, Mom, zoom in with ctrl+.)
September 1, 2011
Dandy Treeclimbing, Camp Latgawa
Serena
Session 1 Advisee Group
Christian, Jeannie, Ia'ala, Yared, John
Community Meeting, Session 2
Angry Mob Takes Blake to the Swimming Hole
Christian, Reanna, My Knees
Reanna, Ia'ala
Reanna, Nathen, Camp Myrtlewood
July 1, 2011
Leaving my last doctor visit, I had a chance to check myself on their eye chart. It was not official–I just backed up 20 one-foot floor tiles and looked at the chart. For the first time ever I was not able to make out some of the letters in the bottom, smallest row. That means my eyesight is now 20/13 instead of 20/10, or however small the denominator was before I started grad school. (The numerator is distance in feet (in the US) and the denominator has to do, in a way that I don’t quite get, with the size of the letters.) If you can see better than 20/10, you generally never find out: 20/10 is good enough. And so is 20/13–I am not complaining. Not much, at least.
I’m more concerned with my focal length, which has moved out at least an inch during the last four years, to a solid 8.5 inches. This happens with aging, of course, but I am willing to bet it is accelerated by reading 30+ hours a week. It is inconvenient not to be able to see my spoonful of food clearly while I am blowing on it. It is also inconvenient that Reanna and I have no overlap in clear vision. When we are looking into each other’s eyes, we have to choose who gets to see clearly, or else she has to wear her contacts. I know it will someday be inconvenient when my focal length exceeds my reach, and I will need glasses to read a book. Ah, aging. As my friend Robert says, “Getting old is very inconvenient. It is better, however, than the alternative.”
June 26, 2011
It has been almost exactly two years since Reanna and I started our long-distance relationship. Yesterday she had her interview for her K1 fiance visa and we are on track to finally live together in nine days. I haven’t written much about our relationship or being long distance (except here, here, here, here, and here) but it has been a huge part of my life for two years. It has been a challenge at times, but mostly just amazing and beautiful, mostly because of what an amazing and beautiful person Reanna is. Yes, an amazing and beautiful experience that I am SO GLAD IS ALMOST OVER!
Nathen & Reanna by Ruth Pike
January 24, 2011
December 5, 2010
August 4, 2010
Reanna grew up drinking what she calls “golden milk”: goat milk with honey and turmeric. It’s delicious. I’m not a fan of goat milk and I still think it’s delicious. It’s a great before-bed snack. Plus, it adds a little species-variety to my cow-heavy dairy intake. Try it: heat up a cup of goat milk, add a light quarter teaspoon (more than that and the spice just precipitates) and honey to taste. Yum.
I looked it up and it seems golden milk is a traditional Ayervedic medicine and often includes almond oil and cardamom or cinnamon. That sounds good, too.
June 28, 2010
One of the many perks of Reanna reading my assignments to me is that I get her editorial critiques of the writing. Academic writing is mostly bad writing, as I’ve been ranting about off and on. Bad writing can be entertaining, though, if it is read to you by a very smart editor like Reanna. Here is one example, Reanna reading Martin Erickson’s critique of the family life cycle theory:
Reanna, reading Erickson: “Perhaps the problems a family is experiencing may have little to do with the family’s deficient ability to negotiate transitions of the FLC but may rather indicate the family’s attempts at creative production and new arrangements that may be a difficult transition into which it may be difficult for a family to adjust. There are many implications of NAT in regard to family therapists. It is hoped that this discussion will spur more in-depth theorizing and research in regard to these issues and provide family therapists with a different way of conceptualizing with which they currently work….”
Reanna, aside: “It is hoped…not by the author necessarily, but, you know, it is hoped.”
Hilarious! Erickson is probably worth reading for any family therapist, but especially so with the added commentary.
The phrase she picked out is a violation of Strunk & White’s Elementary Principle of Composition #14, the most common form of bad writing in academia. For those of you unfamiliar with Strunk & White, get the book The Elements of Style. It’s funny, spot on, and very useful. Here’s the beginning of principle #14:
14. Use the active voice.
The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive:
I shall always remember my first trip to Boston.
This is much better than
My first trip to Boston will always be remembered by me.
The latter sentence is less direct, less bold, and less concise. If the writer tries to make it more concise by omitting “by me,”
My first trip to Boston will always be remembered,
it becomes indefinite: is it the writer or some person undisclosed or the world at large that will always remember this visit?
June 18, 2010
Eunoia is the shortest English word containing all five vowels. It comes from the Greek for “well mind” or “beautiful thinking.” It is also a rarely used medical term referring to a state of normal mental health.
Reanna sent this to me because Eunoia is also the title of a set of univocalics by Canadian poet Christian Bök. His book consists of chapters written using words limited to a single vowel: “A”, “E”, “I”, “O” and “U”. Read more about it in the new issue of Front Magazine.
April 30, 2010
If you’re in grad school or going to start soon, consider getting engaged to an amazing woman. I have had the good fortune to do that, and believe me you won’t regret it. I could (and maybe will at some point) write long into the night about the qualities that I am talking about, but for now I’ll just focus on one telling detail.
In graduate school, you do a lot of reading. Many, many, many hours and hours of reading. Few people do all the reading that they are assigned in a grad program. The eyes and attention can’t take it. I have the advantage of being engaged to Reanna. She reads a chunk of my assigned reading to me each term. Understand that this is mostly dry, academic stuff, interesting if you really want to be a family therapist, but otherwise only tolerable if you are extremely intelligent, curious, and dedicated. Understand also that she doesn’t even get social time with me out of it. I live in Oregon and she lives in British Columbia. She reads my assignments into a voice recorder and emails the files to me. I get to do the dishes or whatever while hearing her voice and getting reading done. She gets to sit in front of a computer screen, reading. (Well, she does get to criticize the bad writing, of which there is plenty, but that’s not much of a payoff, especially for a professional editor.)
She also reads relevant books that she finds that I have not been assigned. How cool is that? I’m going to have a term on Susan Johnson’s emotionally-focused couples therapy next fall, and she’s already read me Johnson’s popularization, Hold Me Tight.
Here is a partial list of what she’s read, from my iTunes. Some of the times didn’t copy out (Open Office couldn’t recognize them, apparently, and made them into times of day), but take my word for it, this is about 50 hours of reading.
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Prologue | Kate Cohen | 17:05 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 1 | Kate Cohen | 22:06 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 10 | Reanna | A Walk Down the Aisle | 23:01 |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 11 | Reanna | A Walk Down the Aisle | 16:11 |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 12 – ch 8 | Reanna | A Walk Down the Aisle | 43:12:00 |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 13 – ch 9 | Reanna | A Walk Down the Aisle | 30:41:00 |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 14a – ch 9 | Kate Cohen | 7:32 | |
| A Walk down the Aisle – Pt 14b – ch 9 | Reanna | A Walk Down the Aisle | 1:28 |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 15 – ch 10 | Kate Cohen | 1:26 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 16 – ch 10 | Kate Cohen | 1:47 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 17 – ch 10 | Reanna | A Walk Down the Aisle | 29:18:00 |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 2 | Kate Cohen | 10:18 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 3 | Kate Cohen | 10:25 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 4 | Kate Cohen | 41:25:00 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 5 | Kate Cohen | 7:51 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 6 | Kate Cohen | 12:49 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 7 | Kate Cohen | 11:07 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – Pt 7 | Kate Cohen | 10:24 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 8 | Kate Cohen | 45:32:00 | |
| A Walk Down the Aisle – pt 9 | Kate Cohen | 1:08:43 | |
| Pt 1 – Chapter 3 – Emotional Responsiveness | Dr. Sue Johnson | Hold Me Tight | 34:40:00 |
| Pt 2 – Conversation 1 – Recognizing the Demon Dialogue | Dr. Sue Johnson | Hold Me Tight | 41:25:00 |
| Pt 2 – Conversation 2 – Finding the Raw Spots | Dr. Sue Johnson | Hold Me Tight | 35:02:00 |
| Pt 2 – Conversation 6 – Bonding through Sex & Touch | Dr. Sue Johnson | Hold Me Tight | 47:05:00 |
| Pt 2 – Conversation 7 – Keeping the Love Alive | Dr. Sue Johnson | Hold Me Tight | 23:59 |
| Chapter 1, Part 1 | Why Don’t Zebra’s Get Ulcers, ch1 | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 10:06:00 PM |
| Chapter 1, Part 2 | Why Don’t Zebra’s Get Ulcers, ch1 | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 07:21:00 AM |
| Chapter 1, Part 3 | Why Don’t Zebra’s Get Ulcers, ch1 | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 06:10:00 PM |
| Children’s Attachment Relationships | Phillis Booth | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 30:05:00 |
| Circle of Security – Terminology | CoS | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 12:46:00 PM |
| Committed Ch 5 (pt 2) Marriage and Women | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 03:52:00 AM |
| Committed Ch 5 (pt 3) Marriage and Women | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 08:07:00 AM |
| Committed Ch 5 (pt 4) Marriage and Women | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 04:13:00 AM |
| Committed Ch 5 (pt 5) Marriage and Women | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 09:02:00 AM |
| Committed Ch 5 (Pt 7) – Marriage and Women | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 06:22:00 PM |
| Committed Ch 7 (pt 1) – Marriage and Subversion | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 10:21:00 AM |
| Committed Ch 7 (pt 2) – Marriage and Subversion | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 42:02:00 |
| Committed Ch 7 (pt 3) – Marriage and Subversion | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 05:21:00 PM |
| Committed Ch 7 (pt 4) – Marriage and Subversion | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 12:34:00 PM |
| Committed Ch 8 – Marriage and Ceremony | Elizabeth Gilbert | Committed | 08:25:00 PM |
| Committed: Ch 1 Marriage and Surprises | Elizabeth Gilbert | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 50:31:00 |
| Committed: Ch 2 (pt. 1) Marriage and Expectation | Elizabeth Gilbert | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 35:17:00 |
| Committed: Ch 2 (pt. 2) Marriage and Expectation | Elizabeth Gilbert | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 08:50:00 PM |
| Committed: Ch 3 (pt. 1) Marriage and History | Elizabeth Gilbert | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 01:05:07 AM |
| Committed: Ch 3 (pt. 2) Marriage and History | Elizabeth Gilbert | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 03:38:00 PM |
| Committed: Ch 4 (pt 1) Marriage and Infatuation | Elizabeth Gilbert | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 01:34:14 AM |
| Committed: Ch 4 (pt 2) Marriage and Infatuation | Elizabeth Gilbert | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 07:37:00 PM |
| Death on a horse’s back | Robert J Barrett | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 168:00:00 |
| Dharma Punx | Noah Levine | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 05:33:00 PM |
| The End of Innocence 1 | Dusty Miller | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 12:45:00 AM |
| The End of Innocence 2 | Dusty Miller | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 42:08:00 |
| Family Process // The Language of Becoming | Ellen Wachtel | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 01:04:24 AM |
| Feminism & Family Therapy 1 | Virginia Goldner, PhD | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 34:43:00 |
| Feminism & Family Therapy 2 | Virginia Goldner, PhD | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 01:03:00 AM |
| Feminism & Family Therapy 3 | Virginia Goldner, PhD | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 28:33:00 |
| Feminism & Family Therapy 4 | Virginia Goldner, PhD | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 03:49:00 AM |
| Fixed (New Yorker) | Jill Lapore | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 32:04:00 |
| Impact on Family Therapist of a focus on death, dying | Becvar | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 06:41:00 PM |
| Impact, pt 2 | Becvar | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 10:59:00 PM |
| Introduction, 1 | Appetites | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 05:36:00 AM |
| Introduction, 2 | Appetites | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 04:32:00 AM |
| Introduction, 3 | Appetites | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 06:34:00 AM |
| Introduction, 4 | Appetites | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 37:26:00 |
| The last time I wore a dress – CH 11 | Daphne Scholinski | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 08:28:00 PM |
| The Last Time I wore a dress – Ch 12 | Daphne Scholinski | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 38:52:00 |
| The Lobotomist | Jack El-Hai | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 24:06:00 |
| Marry Me | St. Vincent | Marry Me | 04:41:00 AM |
| Minnie Mouse and Gunfire, Lucky Child | Luong Ung | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 29:49:00 |
| My Angel Rocks Back and Forth | Four Tet | Rounds | 05:07:00 AM |
| My Lobotomy | Howard Dully | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 32:41:00 |
| Paris is the cruelest month | Alan Alda | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 09:32:00 PM |
| Passionate Marriage | David Schnarch | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 42:45:00 |
| Prozac Nation | Elizabeth Wurtzel | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 42:05:00 |
| Real Weddings | Media Hill Publication | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 06:44:00 AM |
| Running With Scissors | Augustin Burroughs | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 38:30:00 |
| Solution Focused Therapy – A | Molnar & Shazer 1987 | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 10:01:00 PM |
| Solution Focused Therapy – B | Molnar & Shazer 1987 | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 12:49:00 AM |
| Solution Focused Therapy – C | Molnar & Shazer 1987 | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 05:39:00 AM |
| Stubborn Twig | Lauren Kessler | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 52:15:00 |
| Sybil, CH 7 | Flora Rheta Schrieber | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 37:47:00 |
| Truth Telling | Candib | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 39:31:00 |
| Truth Telling, pt 2 | Candib | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 08:22:00 PM |
| Understanding the Rainforest Mind | Paula Prober | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 09:36:00 PM |
| An Unquiet Mind | Kay Jamison | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 38:33:00 |
| The Voices of Children – 1 | Sandra Stith | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 04:45:00 AM |
| The Voices of Children – 2 | Sandra Stith | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 03:06:00 PM |
| The Voices of Children – 3 | Sandra Stith | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 36:03:00 |
| Where is the Mango Princess | Cathy Crimmins | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 30:07:00 |
| You Ain’t Got No Easter Clothes | Laura Love | Reading Aloud to Nathen | 38:06:00 |
Nathen's Miraculous Escape 